Free Book "Addiction Recovery"

I've decided to give my new book for free in hopes that many will find the deliverance that God gave me from drugs and alcohol. I love you all! Soon (maybe later today) it will appear FREE on Amazon forever!!! FREE on Amazon Prime and FREE with Amazon Matchbook. "Addiction Recovery" “Alcohol Addiction has its Downfalls “The use of “alcohol provokes the desire, but takes away sexual performance” is well documented. Blood alcohol levels may accelerate sexual arousal by reducing inhibitions, but it also diminishes performance. It also causes reduced blood supply to the organs, reduces testosterone levels and testicular size. It reduces nerve sensitivity in the male sexual organ (word omitted on purpose) and has negative effect on the ability to achieve and maintain an erection. It causes temporary erectile dysfunction and can cause irreversible loss of erectile function even if drinking is stopped.” (Ferrini & Ferrini pg. 361) The Ball & Chains of Addiction I’m not going to come to you and pretend I have all the answers because I don’t. I’m just going to tell you my story of how I got free from the heavy ball and chains of drug and alcohol addictions. I started drinking around age 13 years old. I used to skip school and buy Cherry Vodka from the local 7-11 back in the early seventies when the 7-11 sold alcohol. I always passed for being of age or else I was fooling myself in thinking that I passed as an adult and the guy just sold it to me so the people I was with wouldn’t give him a hard time. Next came a horrible addiction to cigarettes. I wasn’t really addicted to alcohol like I was to cigarettes. But I started using “speed” the little over the counter cold pills they sold on the street as drugs back in the seventies. I took it to lose weight and to get energy. They really didn’t help me lose weight but they did give me energy. But it was not a good energy and then I would have to find something to slow me down. That something was pot. It was about a year after I had been skipping school drinking the cherry vodka when I met a cute guy who was a few years older than me and he had a truck. He was with one of my other girlfriends that we always thought was a “bad girl” because she was kind of like an orphan and she always broke all the rules and was well known to be the bully and fighting type. They were smoking some weed in the bowling alley parking lot and he was flirting with me while he was on a date with her. He asked me if I wanted any of that “Pot” and I lied to him because I didn’t want him to think I wasn’t cool. So I ignorantly told him that I had already smoked some and couldn’t smoke anymore right then. Now, I think back on it and realize how foolish of an answer that was and that he must have known that I didn’t smoke the stuff. Nonetheless, we began dating. He was really cute. And momma and daddy had already warned me not to use any drugs or I would jump off a building. So I hated drugs and wanted nothing to do with them. But this kid I was dating was like Mr. Connection in the high school. He was every bodies “Go to” guy to get whatever they wanted. He was really popular in school, real smart with common sense and book wise on top of being very cute. He was in Drama class and had my English teacher for his Drama teacher. One night there was a cast party. He promised me twice that he would never smoke pot again but I had already busted him in a lie one other time. On the night of the cast party he went out to the woods to get some firewood for the fire with the English teacher. When he came back he smelled just like pot and I knew he had been smoking weed with my English teacher. I was already drunk on Cherry vodka and it just hit me the wrong way for him to go to the woods and smoke pot with the Drama teacher who was also my English teacher. So I left the party and went to his truck by myself and I got in the truck and I was balling my eyes out like a baby. When all of the sudden this black man sat up from behind our truck seat and he said Geoffrey (name changed for privacy) told him that he would give him a ride back to town when everybody got ready to leave. Then he asked me why I was crying and I told him. He said I got a joint right here do you want to try some. I was already crying and mad so I agreed to try some. I smoked it and nothing happened. They always say nothing happens on the first time to smoke it. Then my boyfriend came back to the truck and took us home. I told him that I smoked some pot because I got mad when I found out he smoked pot with my English teacher. Then from that point on my boyfriend supplied me with all the pot, pills and alcohol I could stand. I had a few problems at home with my dad so I just used the pot to hide the painful feelings that I was living. As the days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, the months turned into years I became more and more of a “Pot head” going to all the hip parties in town that only the adults were invited to. My boyfriend was quite a few years older than me. He was a junior when I was only in the ninth grade. My mother really liked him because he brought me fresh roses or flowers every single day. It wasn’t long until he bought me a diamond engagement ring. I was entirely too young and he should not have done that! I just played around with the alcohol and pills but I was so addicted to cigarettes and marijuana. Little did I know that they would be just like a ball and chain tied around my ankle for the next twenty (20) years. I didn’t believe in divorce because I felt so distant and unloved by my stepdad though I tried and tried to break through the barriers between us. I think he resented me because of my real dad and I were very close. The First Step I never really knew I needed to quit or ever really wanted to quit until I had already been married to another man that was not the same one who had got me addicted to drugs. And I didn’t believe in divorce because of the problems I had dealt with between my dad and me. In my heart I had sworn to myself in an oath that I would never divorce the father of my kids because I would never allow a step father to raise my kids. I had no clue what I got myself into by making that promise to myself until after the physical abuse started. The first time that I decided to leave my babies were less than four years old and I had two of them. A new born and a two year old. I ran back to momma and daddy. My parents had moved out of our big 3 bedroom home and they had gotten a little 2 bedroom apartment because my other sister had left home too. And there was only my baby sister left at home with my parents. My baby sister let me move in to her room. It lasted three days until momma and daddy didn’t know what to do with me or how to help me they only knew that my ex-husband had abused me but they had no way to help me. My dad took me right back over there to my ex- husband and I felt so defeated when he began his bullying me around again. I went to the doctor for something and the doctor knew something wasn’t right in my home life and he prescribed me “Marriage Counselling” and that was one of the best things that ever happened to me back then. My marriage counselor named Carly (name changed for privacy) figured out that he wouldn’t come in to therapy or counseling and that he was not going to try to save our marriage or to change his abuse towards me or the children. Post Trauma Stress Disorder and addictions go hand in hand. There are groups such as “Seeking Safety” (for those who are not reading this from a Kindle http://www.treatment- innovations.org/seeking-safety.html ) out there that are geared to help people recover from both. My ex-husband made really good money and he gave most of it to his mom for her to hide from me in case of a divorce. He kept some of the money on him. So Carly told me to sneak into the bathroom while he was in the shower and take some of his money out so I could save up to get the things I needed to leave him. I did just what she said and I never once got caught. Finally, the police came and took me and the kids to a battered women’s shelter in Jackson, MS. and I never went back after that. It was a few years later I found myself remarried to another alcoholic man who was also abusive and I was pregnant with his son. It was then when I cried out to God in sincerity at a church one lady had invited me to when I was about seven months pregnant. That day, something great happened inside of me. I humbled myself for the first time in my life but not just to anybody. I humbled myself before the almighty God of the universe. I took myself off the throne of my heart and he took ownership. I began to want to learn about Jesus. The more I learned about HIM the more I fell in love. Then I found myself at another battered women’s shelter with my children in Vicksburg, MS. We had to stay there about 3 months before my sweet Lord and savior came through for me in a big way. God blessed me with a beautiful 3 bedroom condominium town house with a fire place, swimming pool and sauna and tennis court. It was just my kids and me. My 2nd ex-husband was military and he tried to come back a few times but it just never worked. He was a severe alcoholic and he would sleep with anything that had two legs. He came home one winter during an ice storm for which I was so glad he was there as I had the new born baby and two young children. Our lights went out in that ice storm and the baby’s father taught me how to make coffee and cook on top of a fire place. About a year later we divorced and I began school. I had only known one lifestyle my entire life and that was the party lifestyle and college did nothing but magnify that old lifestyle. I was raised in a household that had whiskey and beer in it ever since the time I was three years old. My parents would have all-nighters and have their friends end up sleeping in the kid’s bedrooms as I learned on strange night when I caught my aunt Bogie in the bed with my uncle Harley and aunt Bogie was not Uncle Harley’s wife. So I returned like a dog to its vomit (as the scripture says) and I back slid like a reprobate mind. At that point I had never been delivered from the cigarettes or old lifestyle. I was still just as addicted to cigarettes after I got saved, born again and filled with the Holy Spirit as I was the day before Jesus saved me. I think that was another reason I fell so in love with Jesus was that HE accepted me just as I was pot smoking and all! Once I got settled in my apartment I wanted to find a church to attend. And I found the sweetest and best church for me and the kids. And there were a couple of friend in their age that smoked pot and drank beer too. I was the only one of them that smoked cigarettes though but at least we all had the pot thing in common. We became very good friends and Jesus would sweep me off my feet every time I went to church. I would ask HIM secret things in my heart and HE would come out and openly answer the secret desires and questions of my heart in front of all of the congregation. I don’t think they realized HE was speaking and talking to me and answering the deepest thoughts of my heart but I knew HE was and that was all that mattered. I just kept falling more and more in love with him. My lifestyle never changed. I was still smoking cigarettes, smoking pot, having sex and the whole nine yards. I had secret desires to quit but I didn’t know how. And besides that I had three other friends in church that were Christians long before I was and they were smoking pot, drinking alcohol and having sex too. But I still would feel the urge to quit when I would go to church. I would feel like I was different and not holy enough to be one of them yet I knew Jesus was speaking directly to me and loving on me like I had never been loved before. This went on for five years. The Key to My Deliverance Then finally, about five years later some major challenges had arisen in my life. My kids were no longer with me and I had lost everything that meant anything to me. And I was still smoking weed and cigarettes until this man that I was dating got tired of my pot because he didn’t smoke pot. He was just a severe alcoholic. One day I went to smoke some pot over at my friends and he waited for me in the van. When I got back to the van he just looked at me kind of strange and with the most unusual voice he said “do you feel better?” It was after that when I realized I really didn’t need or want to smoke it ever again. I smoked it two more times after that in my lifetime but never again since. But I was still smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol alongside of him. Only I would get drunk and pass out. He would get drunk and steal my van. He was another night mare relationship. I still haven’t got that part of my life figured out yet. But the good thing is about twelve years later (after I quit smoking pot) I got so very sick and ill that I knew if I smoked one more cigarette that I would die so I went and bought some nicotine patches and I quit. I wore them for about a year when I went off of them and went onto the nicotine lozenges and gum. I used them for about six months and then switched to regular chewing gum and peppermints where I still am today. Yes, I’m addicted to peppermint candy and gum but hey, I quit smoking! I still get tempted after all I am only human. And when I get tempted or when I am weak, when I’m feeling really challenged to hold on to my integrity and my victory that is when I turn to the one whom my soul loves. I turn to Jesus! I have a tendency to sow a seed whenever I have any needs at all. If I want God to move in a certain situation that has been weighing heavy on my heart then I just give God the biggest offering that I can and I name that offering (or seed as I like to call it) whatever the need is. Dr. Oral Roberts taught me this method. He said one day he was going in for a test to see why he was having some particular symptom in his body and the diagnostic image came back revealing a big tumor on one of his major organs. At that very moment he got his wife Evelyn to look in the check book to see how much money they had. He told her to write out a check right that moment for every bit of it that was in the account. She did just that and a few minutes later they did the same diagnostic test and that tumor was gone like the wind. So ever since I went to see Dr. Oral Roberts and his wife live in Tampa, Florida sometime before 2005 that is when I started naming my seed for whatever my need. Brother Jesse Duplantis teaches something similar. He says he never gives an offering without demanding a return on it so he names it whatever he wants the seed to do for him. And I have found that the principal works for me too whenever I feel weak I sow a seed and I call for prayer to Aquila Dove Ministries at 1-855- 200-3683. She has a 24 hour a day voice mail that accepts prayer requests anytime and sometimes if you call in the morning a live prayer partner will answer. But I’ve found that I like the voice mail better and I can’t recall very many prayers that didn’t get answered when I asked her for prayer. Sooner or later they will all be answered. There are a lot of other prayer lines out there too. Joel Osteen has one at 1-888-567-5635. And Trinity Broadcast Network www.tbn.org has a prayer line 1-714-731-1000. And here is a list http://www.chatwithgod.org/prayer- journal/prayer_hotlines.php4of them. And I do both sometimes when I’m feeling really challenged then I will sow a seed and call for prayer. Sometimes I will sow the seed in a different ministry then where I call for prayer but generally I sow into the same ministry where I call for prayer. The Health Action Process Approach The Health Action Process Approach was developed by Ralf Schwarzer in Berlin, Germany. This method looks at the reason or motivation to change intentions, goals, thoughts and volition to change. Volition is the part where action takes place, the initiative, the planning, the maintenance of the new behavior and recovery from addictions. “So for example, a smoker may have an intention to change, but not have done anything about it, or may have developed a plan including a quit date, a plan to avoid friends who smoke, and not to have cigarettes in the house, and may have thought of triggers to smoking (such as stress) and bought a book or a bag of carrots to crunch when that time comes (volition). Good intentions are more likely to be translated into action when people plan when, where, and how to perform the desired behavior.” (Ferrini & Ferrini Pg. 396) If you don’t have any intentions or desires to quit then there is no purpose to do anything like action planning. For me, I bought the patches, the gum and the lozenges and I made no room for temptation as I got rid of the cigarettes and lighters. The patches took the need for the drug out of my system and I began to write letters and cards and sew with my hands to keep my hands busy so that they would not miss the feel of the cigarette. Scripture says it like this; “Rather, Cloth yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh” New International Translation. And in another version it says “Make no provision for the flesh.” English Standard Version. And here in the New Living Translation it says “Instead, cloth yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about the ways to indulge your evil desires.” Sometimes in the beginning I would also suck on a little coffee straw stirrer and kept it dangling from my mouth. Every now and then I would pull it of my mouth and then put it back in but not like a cigarette. I did it more like a straw or a pen or pencil. I had quit drinking a few year later about the same time as my last divorce and I never drank again. That was another reason that may have contributed to me successfully ‘quitting smoking.’ There were a few times that it was hard for me especially after a meal was when I really wanted to smoke. Or when I was drinking coffee. Well, I never did quit eating or quit drinking coffee I just tried to be real mindful of those times and make sure that I had a fresh patch on or a fresh lozenge nearby. A good support group like home group or cell groups in a local church or even celebrate recovery classes like they have at Saddleback church or you can find it here http://saddleback.com/connect/ministry/celebrate- recovery (if you are not reading this from a Kindle reader) at a local church would be a great place to look first. Then there is also Alcoholics Anonymous or Al anon or here http://www.al- anon.alateen.org/ (if you are not using a Kindle Reader) that can be of help. You can also do some herbal therapy such as GABA which greatly helps anyone who is trying to stop any addiction. It is an all-natural amino acid or brain salt that reduces the need for a substance.) And another one that I have found soothing is Red Rooibos tea as it doesn’t contain caffeine and it has lots of anti-oxidants and it very supportive for the central nervous system. I drink mine with a piece of real apple and vanilla flavoring. Melatonin is also good for anyone who has trouble falling asleep. It is also all natural and promotes general wellbeing by stimulating the immune system and it won’t leave you feeling tired or like you are hung over the next day. It is important to remember that stress and caffeine can trigger addictive behaviors so it is best to avoid anything or anyone that would cause you to fall or slip back into addiction. Drug Use In Our Society Reasons for Drug Use in Our Society When alcohol, drug use or cigarettes are used in the home of a child it kind of gives the wrong signal to the child telling them that this is an acceptable lifestyle. Later, when biological addictions become apparent the damage is already done to both the user and the easily influenced child. When the child grows up it is likely that the child will model after their parents unless there is some form of divine intervention. If that child grows up and becomes a Christian that child will have tools to resist the lifestyle that was so dominating in the child’s youth. That person will then learn and know that you don’t have to turn to alcohol or drugs to escape reality but they will know that they can turn to Jesus with any needs or concerns that they face in life. They will know that they can cast their burdens upon the Lord and HE will carry all the burdens for them. They will know that they are not to worry but to pray about everything so the need or tendency to use drugs or alcohol is diminished. ‘Our society does play a large role in the use of drugs in America. Many drugs are chemically addicting like alcohol, cigarettes, cocaine, and heroin. Pot is not biologically addicting but it is psychologically addicting. Cigarettes, alcohol and pot would be entirely more sociologically addicting in my opinion but that is not the theory that many in the field of study of behaviors are holding. To me, the more sociably acceptable a drug is (i.e.: cigarettes, pot or alcohol were all acceptable in the community where I grew up in the eighties) the more potentially addicting it would be. Cocaine was not as sociably accepted, neither was heroin. The temperance model of addictions says that to be around a substance is all that is necessary to become a potential addict. The good that may come out of legalizing an illicit drug that is so widely used and medicinally acceptable like Pot is for potential tax gains that could come from taxing the sale of pot. The bad that would come out of legalizing pot or any other illicit drug is we would have a large society that would be using a drug that would make them less useful to be productive citizens and possibly crime could increase, or risky sexual behaviors could increase. I agree that the sociological theory is the main reason why people abuse drugs. I also agree that social media in advertisement, tv and movies glamorize drugs and alcohol too much without showing the true ugly side effects of drugs and alcohol. I also think that there is not enough emphasis on spiritual healing of drug abuse. The Lord can bring deliverance. I am not going to say that it is easy or that it is soon coming because I know all too well that it took me over five years to be set free after I had become born again even though I cried out to God for deliverance every single day. It took me fifteen years to finally be delivered from cigarettes even though I begged God for deliverance every single day, went to church faithfully, volunteered in the church on a weekly basis, and gave tithes and offerings to the church on a regular basis. None of that was enough to be delivered from the every so wickedly addicting cigarette. But God finally gave me a way of escape through the nicotine lozenges and the patch. I stayed on them for over a year and then I went to peppermints. That was in 2007 and I still have to keep a peppermint and or gum in my mouth every waking moment of each day. I will not go into the health complications that were caused by me quitting and subsequently getting addicted to peppermints and gum but it was not without other ramifications. The spiritual side of deliverance needs to be displayed as much as they glorify the sin of drug abuse. Medicinal reasons are the only reasons that one should take drugs. Anything that the body comes in contact with has to be filtered. Once the body comes in contact with too many toxins the body shuts down, develops cancer and breaks. Some people take drugs to get high, or to escape the pressures of reality. When someone truly has the Lord they do not have to turn to drugs to escape any pressure because they can turn to the Lord and HE delivers HIS people from all their troubles. It is illegal to sell or give away prescription drugs or street drugs. The only people who can administer drugs are licensed physicians or nurses and those in the same medical field of health. They must be licensed health administrators to administer drugs of any kind. Even with acupuncture or Chiropractic care, massage therapy, any of those type of none invasive types of medicine they still must be licensed to administer any kind of treatment. Drugs are very addicting. Even after I was born again it took me five years to change my lifestyle from one that did what everyone else did to one that honored the Lord. It still took me over fifteen years after I was saved to quit cigarettes even though I cried out and prayed to the Lord on a daily basis for deliverance from all of those bad lifestyles. References: Ferrini & Ferrini (Health in the Later Years) Fifth Edition New Living Translation of the Holy Bible English Standard Version of the Holy Bible New International Translation of the Holy Bible “